MAFAHIM ISLAM

Created by : Azhari
Translated by : Asrini Marcelewicz

What can be felt, when we see our beloved parents (Father and Mother) become old. Their body is weak with wrinkled skin and gray hair, poor eye sights even difficulty with walking and suffering from osteoporosis. We really want to be next to our parents in their old days but sometimes they prefer to live in their own town as it feels probably more comfortable. Having said so, it is fortunate for people who have opportunities to take care of their parents.

It is an odd image when children send their father and mother to nursing home. Leaving their responsibilities and refusing to take care of their own parents. Meanwhile, when we were a baby, our parents took care of us and did not leave us in orphanage even if they could. Now as they are old, parents become weaker and it will be an opposite response if we send them to nursing home and refuse to look after them.

Deserting parents until they die is an act of disobedience. It is one of the three major sins. The second one is to associate Allah swt with other thing and when we give false witness. (Hadist Bukhari and Muslim). We can always say that we are busy and do not have time to take care of them, but still, the reason is still unacceptable. We can imagine how sad it is when parents have to separate from their children, grandchildren and feel lonely without love from their family.

In developed countries, say as an example, in Japan. We can see elderly (senior citizens) are employed to work as a cleaning service in the office and factory based on their ability. But then, where are their children whom parents have nurtured and become successful people, but at the end they let their parents still working and accept order from somebody else, shouldn’t parents enjoy their old days?

Treatment in Life

Our parents’ kindness can’t be replaced with anything. Even if they paralysed and we carry them while performing pilgrimage, it will not be enough to repay the pain of giving birth to us. What we can do in return is to let our parents free from people who giving order to them, although it may seem quite impossible to do it these days.

A child can not repay his parents unless he finds his parents as a slave, then he buy and free them (Hadist Muslim).

God Almighty commanded to care for elderly people with our own hands, this form of devotion to the child's parents (birul walidain).

There are three good deeds which are loved by Allah swt:
1) Pray in the right time 2) Dutiful to our parents (birul walidain), 3) Do jihad in the way of Allah Almighty (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim).

“And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.” (Surah Al – Isra: 23).

It is forbidden to curse, yell, insult and desert our parents. The author once witnessed a woman who is often cursing on her old mother and when the mother dies, that woman cry hysterically. Even there was a regret, it may be probably too late for that.

Treatment after Death

How do children treat their parents who have died? We can still be dutiful to our parents through maintaining a good relationship with their friends who adore/respect them. We can also pray for our parents mainly after our five times prayer.

If our parents had intention to do Hajj before they died. At this case, we are still able to help them become a hajj or known as (Badal) only in a condition; we had pilgrimage.
If our parents passed away during the Ramadan, we can replace (Qadha) make up their fasting, which couldn’t be reached until the end of Ramadan. We can also deliver our good deeds (reward) by doing charity and read the al –Qur’an, and intend our good deeds and readings for our parents.

Indeed the mother of Sa’ad bin Ubadah ra died while Sa'ad was not next to her. Then Sa'ad said, "O Messenger of Allah, in fact my mother has died, while I was was not beside her. Would it be useful if I reward her with something? "The Prophet replied," Yes, useful". Then Sa'ad told the Prophet," Then I testify to you that I will reward this garden which is ready to bear fruit to my mother". (Narrated by Bukhari).

So, if you want a profitable investment, from now on you will have to educate your children to be pious. They will later flow rewards when we are inside the grave it is when other bountiful sources are no longer available and disengaged.

Every human will die and by that time our deeds are cut off, except three cases which are Jariah charity, beneficial knowledge and dutiful children who will always pray for it (Hadist Muslim).

Wallahualam (Only God Knows)

Link to Bahasa Indonesia : http://mafahim-azhari.blogspot.com/2010/02/birul-walidain.html